A Swan Tried To Eat My Camera & This Is How It Turned Out

I’ve been sojourning in many palaces and royal gardens on this trip to Spain — serene places that take you back three centuries, with fountains designed so well that water pressure alone shoots them 100 feet into the air. Yet the Spanish avians don’t think I should be here. Perhaps they know of my appetite for chicken wings.

Last week, in the gardens of Aranjuez, I was walking amidst beautiful peacocks and rare Asian ducks, not expecting to suddenly become very intimate with their feces, when bird crap came raining down like fire and brimstone all around me… and landed on my face. The poo-filled slime slowly dripped down, filling every crevice and surmounting every bump on my face, dropped onto my camera then onto my phone.

Today, in La Granja – a small town outside Segovia that houses a royal palace and beautiful gardens built for king Felipe V – a swan tried to eat my camera. Do you know what the inside of a swan’s mouth looks like? I didn’t either.

Enjoy this photo-story of a swan trying to eat my camera.

Look at me, sitting prettily in the royal gardens.
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Did you just pull out your camera?
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That’s it! “Time to open up some whoop-a$$!” (Apparently, he was a big fan of Waterboy)
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If only I had my camera with me when a yak spit on my sister.

The Wayfaring Woman

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